Blaine Alan Goff

I first met Blaine in Iowa City in ~1975 at a University of Iowa Christian Reformed Campus Ministry discussion of a book by Os Guiness, The Dust of Death: A Critique of the Establishment and the Counter Culture and the Proposal for a Third Way. We both relished critiquing the establishment and the world around us in a search for truth and development of our life paths. Eventually, over several years, our beliefs diverged from our Judeo/Christian heritage. About six months later Blaine married Nancy Adams and I was very honored that he chose me as Best Man for the wedding. In the ensuing years we were often a threesome sharing meals, music and discussion. He often helped me, for example, when I painted my car. He also tried to convince me to build a home on the extra lot next to his home. They were both very supportive of me as I struggled to come out as a gay man. We were all delighted when Sarah was born. Eventually I introduced my friend Greg Newsum to Blaine and they also became good, long lasting friends. We tried to encourage each other in creative expressions. I think I benefited greatly from Blaine's unfettered praise of my photography and my electron microscopy biomedical research. He traveled with me to Toronto when I gave my first presentation at an international scientific meeting. We were delighted to eat a Salad Crab Louis which was unfamiliar to us. It was a great trip.

In the early 1980's we drifted apart mostly due to distance. I moved to San Francisco in 1983 and could not visit Iowa or Denver very often. We did share some correspondence and telephone calls. I was not a great corespondent but Blaine wrote voluminously. Writing was his passion. Blaine did manage to visit me in San Francisco one time and I visited him several times in Denver.

When I think of Blaine I can hear his laugh. He truly could enjoy the moment and instantly turn to critique an injustice. He also enjoyed the banter of argument often taking a contrary position just for the sake of discussion. I will sorely miss my friend of forty years and his essence as a human compatriot will remain embedded in my life.

  Septmeber 20th has always been a great day for me!  I found out not to long after meeting Blaine that we had the exact same birthday date.  Blaine was of course older than me, but never made me feel like the bratty little tag-a-long sister of Nancy's.  I remember Blaine for many things.  First was his running!  Who ran marathons back in those days?  Well pretty much not anyone compared to now.  He was cutting edge!  I remember jamming to Elton John's Crocodile Rock with me in the back seat of the convertible with wind in my hair and Blaine and Nancy jamming up front.  We sang our hearts out and I'm pretty sure we all thought we were rocks stars!  LOL  Planting one HUGE garden at the Walnut street house...... who could forget Buck, Buddy and Calob the chocolate labs.  This all happened before the "next" Sara"h" came into our llives.  Woo Hoo!  That was the best gift for all of us!  Little did Blaine (or any of us ) understand what purpose Sarah would have at the end of Blaine's time here on this earth.  Blanie, I know you can hear me!  YOU helped create the perfect person to help see you out of this place into one where we will see you again.  Learn the ropes for us so we don't look like newbies when we arrive!  I know there was a BIG party when you arrived!  You are so missded here on this earth by many.  Your purpose in thier lives has become much clearer now. Funny how that happens.  I think that's the way it's suppose to be.  I will celebrate our Birthday for you in September.  Yep, the big 50!  You know what that means for you don't you.......60!  Don't worry I won't tell anyone! You always had a great sense of humor so I'm sure you're having a little chuckle right now!  

Here's to you Blanie Goff!  Many great times !  You will be missed very much 

 

 I remember walking the halls of U-High in Jr. High with my best friend Julie Ross.  We saw two cute boys walking by us.  She said he's cute. I said the one in the Yellow shirt?  No, the other one.  Well I like the one in the yellow shirt!  That shirt and that boy became a big part of my life.  It was Blaine Goff.  My crush had started.  We experienced many events in the following years of our Jr. and High School years.  I flirted with him via notes when we went to The Congress Inn in Chicago, riding the school bus to football games, slow dancing at school dances and cheering for him at wrestling meets.

 I still have the "chatty ring" from that special yellow shirt.  His school picture was in this shirt.  Yes, very special.  I also still have the big red Heart shape box of chocolates he gave me for one Valentine's Day.  This box is where I have kept that chatty ring and special cherished notes.

I have especially fond memories of a great Spring Break trip Toni and Nick Cilek and I took to Colorado to visit Blaine. The trips only young people take and memories that last for a lifetime!!! We had times of separation during High School and College but when he came back from one of his Colorado trips he proposed marriage.  Of course I said yes.

 We had a wonderful morning wedding shared with great family and friends.  It was a beautiful day.  Four and half years later we were blessed with our daughter, Sarah Jane.  She was so special to us both.  I used to worry when Blaine would throw our little girl in the air and catch her.  She would of course giggle, smile and love every moment.  I know this was a special time Blaine and Sarah shared between just them. We only shared seven years of marriage but a lifetime with our daughter Sarah. 

Sarah graduated college from Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado. I am so grateful she lives  in Colorado as this meant she had more time with Blaine since his life was cut tragically short.  With his recent illness, Sarah and Blaine were able to share many conversations. And yes, very philosophical.  Anyone who knew Blaine would expect nothing less.  These are cherished and are very missed I know.  Another very special Father and Daughter moment.  

Blaine you are missed but I will always hold your memories with love.

Quoting one of his favorite authors:

“In sorrow we must go, but not in despair. Behold! We are not bound for ever to the circles of the world, and beyond them is more than memory.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

I've always admired my father's ability to write, his ability to articulate, and to think deeply about philisophical subjects and ideas. He and I took a trip to Manitou Springs in January of this year and had an opportunity to talk about some of these subjects. He is the only person I know who is actually willing to have these conversations with me and be truly interested and have meaningful responses to the topics. It was during this trip that I told him he was the most intelligent person I know and I greatly respect and appreciate that.

My dad is also one of the most loving and accepting people I know. He fully accepted my brother Gabe as his own son even though Gabe was from a different father who he never knew, and came along 3 years after the latest of his own children. It wasn't until recent years that I was able to truly appreciate my dad for doing this. It takes a truly special and loving kind of person to do something like this for someone. I am deeply grateful for what I have learned from my father. He is a great role model in my life and I strive to be like him in many ways. My dad has lead a meaningful life and positively impacted many people.

Many of my favorite memories of time spent with my father involve a country road, candy and a gas station pop.  He would often pick me up and we would just drive through the country around Iowa City listening to the radio.  He was often busy introducing me to The Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin and many other classics.  When I was in the 3rd grade he gave me his Grateful Dead "In the Dark" cassette tape to play when I got home.  I was in love.  I never have stopped listening to and thinking about how fortunate I am that my Dad fostered such a love of music within me.  I don't much remember what we talked about on those rides, but I remember being pretty content sitting there next to him looking out of the windows and eating Necco wafers. Apparently, when I was very young I wasn't always so fond of those rides.  One of Dad's favorite stories to tell involved a trip we were taking from Iowa City to Des Moines.  Half way through the trip I looked at him and said "Daddy, I don't like this road!” He never did get tired of telling that story...and always with a big smile and a laugh.

His strong relationship to music was apparent even in his last days at The Denver Hospice.  They were excellent at not just providing top notch medical care but addressing all areas of comfort.  When he first arrived they brought in a stack of CD's to play.  They included mostly music from the genres of classical, 50's and elevator. ;)  He was pretty much non-verbal when he arrived at Hospice.  As the nurse was trying to figure out Dad's taste in music she popped in a Frank Sinatra CD.  She reported his eyes getting as large as saucers and him shaking his head "No" emphatically!  She got the biggest kick out of it and I did too as it was too true to character.  I had to quickly educate them on what music must be in the player at all times so they wouldn't inadvertently irritate him!   

I am grateful for these memories and many, many more.  My father's love was a blessing.  I will miss picking up the phone when I need his ear and reaching out for a strong hug when things aren't so smooth.  He was always there with open arms and a non-judgmental ear.  I knew instinctively he was one of my biggest fans.  As I get older, I realize just how priceless that is. 

My grandfather, Blaine Sr., died last May lending the opportunity for Dad and I take one last long road trip from Denver to Des Moines (with my daughter Emma in tow).  I do believe that sometimes, not always...but often... things happen for a reason.  It was a gift I wasn't aware I was receiving.